While watching movies do you ever do things the characters are doing just to see if you could be part of the story, too? Things---within reason, and not things one shouldn't try at home---like simple tasks such as holding ones breath whenever the characters on screen have to hold their breath underwater?
(I would not survive being a Pirate in the Caribbean because it is SO DANG LONG at times).
Or do you ever contemplate how you could do the same things the characters are doing without any hesitations or experience required? I could walk across that rickety bridge if I came across it! I could dance along a yellow brick road to the capital city! I could off that cliff and safely into the water below!
Then there are the things that one realizes one can't do.
It's one thing if monsters from space are coming to get you or you need to be a pro at archery to hit the target or have a magical power to save a kingdom. Not everyone deals with that. But there seems to be a certain level of things that all protagonists are expected to be able to deal with.
And one of those things is rope.
(Not that Rope. To all of you who I keep promising I'll write an actual post on Rope (1948), I apologize for the clickbait title. I just wanted to have Jimmy Stewart in my post.)
Most action/adventure protagonists seem to be able to hold on to a rope so they don't fall off a cliff, or to be able to climb a rope to get to where then need to be, or to pull on a rope and save other people.
Have you guys ever really noticed how many times rope is used in movies or books as just the thing people need? Have any of you thought about how convenient it is that all these characters are so strong??
(To be fair, Samwise Gamgee bemoans his lack of rope so I guess he knows what's up.)
Not me. I have no arm strength whatsoever.
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| Maybe that's the problem. (that's not quite true, though--I can nearly do a push-up, now!) |
I like some more realistic failings in my characters. For example, in The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017), everyone just expects that the good guys can throw and catch things but Lloyd can't because he never had a dad to play catch with (such a good backstory/conflict). And it comes up time and again so there's actually a scene where he's learning how to throw (Ack I love this movie)
I would need some extensive rope training. I don't have much hope for it because I have tried. Believe me. (I actually lived out that one scene in Mirror Mirror where people were cheering for me and it got less enthusiastic the more people saw that I can't hold on to ropes to save my life. Or anyone else's.)
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| oh, if it's rope I am DEFINITELY letting go. I just can't! hold! on! |
This is an appreciation post that I am not a main character or side character in a story as I would have plunged to my death from mishandling rope by now.
Disclaimer: This post isn't meant to be a downer at all! Just some humor as I'm very aware of my physical limitations. Again, appreciation that I live a very safe life!
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| I just watched Mission: Impossible (1996) recently which, I actually feel like I could've pulled off pretty well! I'm taller than Tom Cruise so maybe I wouldn't fit into the vents, but I don't think it would be that hard. As long as I'm strapped in, I could totally do that. I just couldn't do Krieger's job of holding the rope... |
Presenting: Movies/TV shows/books with ridiculously hard rope scenes I should not try at home (or ever) and my chance of surviving them.
Aka the episdoe where Rose is hanging above London FOR EVER.
See that blimp? See that line coming from the blimp? See that shape at the end? That's Rose. And she's like that for AgEs.
I haven't watched a ton of Dr. Who so I don't know if there are future (past? present?) scenarios that would be hard for me, but I do know that this was one of the first times where I consciously thought "I'd never survive that."
On one hand, I would've slipped off the rope before I got too far from the ground so I would've been fine, but if I'd somehow been determined enough to hold on for 5 seconds, I would've been dead.
Where in one scene Sophronia is just literally HANGING OUT forever off the top of an airship after an incident with a vampire has left her stranded and her friends even leave because she's so okay. Everything Sophronia does would be a challenge for me in this series, but that one particular moment right in the first chapter would be a death wish if I attempted it.
Technically her gadget is hanging from her wrist so she's got a bit of a safety net there where she's not going to let go and fall, but not enough for me to be able to be efficient in this scenario. Not enough for be to be able to CLIMB to the pilot's bubble much less just climb around the airship all the time.
In a way it's kind of like how Spider-Man is attached to his "ropes" (webs), right? Or is he? Because how does he let go, then?
Actually, I'm not sure how that works. Let's move on to another bug-themed superhero example.
There's a little loop for Ladybug to hold onto while she swings her yoyo around, so I probably wouldn't let go of it, but I'm still not convinced I would survive the swinging from building to building part. Yes, technically, if you have a Miraculous then you have super-abilities to go with it, but I still have a feeling I'll be like Ladybug in that one episode ("Reverser") where she loses her yoyo abilities.
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| "Throw me the rope" (to be fair, the no-arm-strength problem means I couldn't climb with or without the rope) |
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| No way. |
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| Nope. |
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| Absolutely not. |
I guess I'm getting stuck at the bottom of the Cliffs of Insanity. I usually play the role of Fezzik (aka the sidekick) in my day-to-day life, but even though I can swim more than just dog-paddle, he's got me beat here.
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| This is my attitude if the options are "use the rope" or "die." Maybe that's a false dichotomy, though... |
But Chloe, I thought you said mortality was mild? That's because it depends on who I am. If I have the role of Fezzik or Westley, no chance. But if I'm Buttercup or Vizzini and get others to carry me up a cliff and pull me out of the sand...my chances are looking better. I was told once that I looked like Buttercup so maybe I should lean into this.
Maybe it's fighting against gravity that's so hard for me. I can totally roll with anything where gravity is helping me.
Yeah, I think I would survive that.
I LOVE Ghibli but I don't like this movie. Maybe because of this scene as in the back of my mind I know I would die immediately.
Huh, this is the second example to have a blimp. Maybe I should just avoid blimps in my adventuring.
This is technically string, but I would've let the balloon go before hanging from it. So in this case I would be safer than Pooh because I wouldn't bother the bees in the first place.
I could also always just do Christopher Robin's job of pretending that there is rain.
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| I'm realizing this out of context is probably wild. |
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| Nope. I wouldn't even make it far enough to hug the vine. |
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| He's not even looking as he grabs it! What! Even! I could never! |
I'm not becoming the next Jane anytime soon because it may not be a deadly vine to other people but it is to me because I can't climb.
One time I was in a psych class where we did things outside of our comfort zone and using a rope swing to swing and drop into a pool of water was one of our activities. Everyone else tried it and tried to encourage me but I just happily said I'd take videos of eveyrone else instead. Not because it's outside my comfort zone, it looks fun, I just know for a fact that I would die because I cannot hold a rope for more than 2 seconds. I have been banned from rope tows at ski resorts.
So deciding to just avoid at all costs is probably a good decision for me.
At least if I can't hold onto a vine to start with, I won't get wrapped up with one.
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| It's amazing these two survive everything. So if they can do it, maybe there's hope for me. |
A guy like Quasimodo is very different than a gal like me because I could not swing and save anybody. I would fall to the flames.
And I wouldn't be the only one .
I can't find an image, but technically I don't think he's swinging in on a rope, I think it's a chain? But still, the point stands: chains are just as bad as ropes for me. There's the additional fear that if I stick my fingers between the links they'll get stuck until I'm hanging over a chasm and then I'll fall out.
If I was in charge of this rescue I would just add myself to the people who needed to be rescued.
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| Quasimodo being so strong makes sense when he does this all day. Maybe I need to go work the bells somewhere. |
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| My delusional self thinks I could slide down parapets just fine, though. |
I think I could do something with chains if I am hooked into them à la Padme in Attack of the Clones (2002), as I'm not going to fall by dropping the chain. Heights aren't a problem for me, my inability to grip anything is.
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| So I would not pick the lock and therefore be stranded on top and therefore die. Huh...maybe that's not the best either. |
Look at Rapunzel! She's beauty! She's grace! She'll swing all over the place!
Meanwhile, me:
Except I wouldn't even make it that far. This one isn't rope but it's making rope look like a benefit actually, because if I can't hold on to hemp then I certainly can't hold onto glossy hair.
Russell is trying to climb the hose here and is struggling which means I finally have a character I can relate to. I actually have a decent chance of surviving this because the nozzle on the end means I wouldn't slip off, I'd just be in stasis, neither climbing nor falling. Although, I weigh more than a 10 year-old, so the hose may crack and break. But, like Russell, none of that helps get me up to Mr. Fredrikson's house.
I just hope I don't encounter a blimp anytime soon...
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| Other people's mortality rates: ....high if I'm in charge of holding the hose. |
(Seriously, guys, this is the third time I've come up with a blimp example and I wasn't even trying. If the story of the Hindenburg wasn't enough to keep me away from blimps, these case studies will definitely do the job. Avoid them if you're not good with rope).
Another balloon example...and now that I think about it, blimps are a type of balloon...
I was one of those kids who needs the balloon to be tied around my wrist because I would just accidentally let go. And I know it's magic and all so I'm probably not going to die, I'm just going to be Weatherall Wilkins. I guess I would choose the wrong balloon. But hey, if I can be bicycle guy and not have to hold it myself, then I'm good!
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| Miss you, Tim Curry </3 |
In the book Violet climbs a tower with a grappling hook which is very resourceful of her but also nope, I couldn't do it. She was strong from all that wood chopping and despite my also having chopped a little bit of wood in my lifetime, I would grab the rope and still die immediately and Count Olaf would win.
However! The tv show gives me a chance to live! Violent just has a little bit of a different invention.
No rope? Being strapped in? BEAUTIFUL. I need this for all these rope scenarios.
These are the adaption changes that I am looking for in two works of art, so let's end on that high note.
What do I bring do an adventure? Can I swim or tread water? Check.
Walk for miles? Check.
Balance on beams? Check.
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| Maybe not like that... |
Hold on to rope? Absolutely not. I'm in awe of all these protagonists who are so capable when it comes to cables of all shapes and sizes.
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| I'm not in awe of you guys. Put the rope away, NOW, you psychopaths. |
(I also have some trauma from rope, but in a fictional sense not a physical sense. From His Dark Materials, book 2, The Subtle Knife. It's not the knife that freaks me out, it's the rope. IYKYK.)
(Strangely enough, I'm not traumatized from the movie Rope (1948) at all, though. In fact, it hypes me up. In a cinematic masterpiece way and not a let's go murder people way, fyi.)
That's enough death-defying exploits for one day, so tell me what you guys think! How do you all think you would do in these circumstances? How good are you at being able to hold on to rope? What special skills do you have that would help you in adventures? Do you have a favorite training montage where a character gets better at a skill? Have you seen any of these movies? Have you ever ridden in a blimp?
Thanks for reading and stay safe!
Chloe the MovieCritic
