Movie Review: Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

Fee-fi-fo-fum, the time to talk about tall tales has begun!

A trend for fantasy movies in the early 2010s was to embrace a darker and grittier version of well known fairy tales. Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) and Maleficent (2014) were two popular examples, but sandwiched between them was another entry in this sub-genre that had hopes for being killer. So let's see if, as folks say nowadays, it "slayed."

Spoiler warning: This movie follows the basic outline of the fairytales Jack and the Beanstalk and Jack the Giant Killer and as those are relatively well known in their outcomes, I'll reference those more than I usually do when talking about the endings of movies in my reviews. As for the unique elements of this film, I'll talk about some details but leave how it actually turns out a surprise for you!

Jack the Giant Slayer (2013):

Premise: Jack is a big dreamer, having developed a love of reading from a young age by the stories his father read to him. Unfortunately, dreaming doesn't create food for one to eat, so Jack's uncle sends him to market to start selling some of their belongings. However, the legends about giants may have an element of truth, and evil Lord Roderick is looking for the way to the skies, and that way falls right into Jack's hands: magic beans. Meanwhile, Princess Isabelle keeps trying to escape her arranged marriage, much to the chagrin of Elmont, the captain of the guard assigned to keeping her safe. Both Isabelle and Jack are thrown into a bigger adventure in the sky as they try to get home before a clash between the worlds is created.

Genre(s): Fantasy, Fairytale retelling, Adventure.

Length: approx. 114 minutes.

Age Range: It's rated PG-13 for some intense violence, usually in the form of CGI/fantasy brutality rather than one on one combat.

Crew: Directed by: Bryan Singer. Produced by: Neal H. Moritz, David Dobkin, Bryan Singer, Patrick McCormick, & Ori Marmur. Written by: Darren Lemke, Christopher McQuarrie, Dan Studney, & David Dobkin. Music by: John Ottman.

Starring: Nicholas Holt, Eleanor Tomlinson, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Bill Nighy, Ewan McGregor, Eddie Marsan, Ralph Brown, John Kassir, and Cornell John, Andrew Brooke, Angus Barnet, and Ben Daniels (credited as giants with the names Fee, Fye, Foe, and Fumm, which I appreciate).

General Thoughts:

This movie is relatively unknown as compared to others in this sub-genre, and I think it suffers most from critics due to the quality of the CGI. The visuals were laughably bad, which makes the violence (which, warning, includes popping eyeballs and skewered tongues) all the more eyebrow raising because THIS is what they came up with? For me drags the movie down a little but to give it some credit, there is also motion capture involved not just computer simulations. Battle choices aside, what impacts the quality the most is in the design of the giants. All of the giants are purposefully made to be grotesque and unnatural, when I feel like it could very well have just been made with people and special effects or makeup.

Comparatively, Snoke is a masterpiece.

It makes me wonder if making the giants look as gruesome as possible is an attempt to compensate for the body counts later, because the viewers surely wouldn't care! It's their comeuppance! In a fantasy world it is typical to make an us vs. them (see the orcs in Tolkien's work), but here it lacks nuance. I would've liked to see the fairy tale element of one outside the norm, i.e. one of the giants helping the little people out. In fact, the original tale is marked by the compassion of the giant's wife who helps Jack hide but there is no such show of heart for these giants in the sky. It did feel like it was missing something (maybe the Bechdel test?); making everyone bad or good and not have any grey area feels a little lazy. Maybe I'm used to Big Friendly Giants, but it rubbed me a little wrong.

This isn't to say I don't like the movie! I'll talk about what I liked it a minute, and it will show how the rest of my nitpicks made me go "huh" but didn't really change my enjoyment of it. 

The script isn't anything spectacular, as it has some cliches, but those can also be seen as part of the fairy tale genre that starts ("Once upon a time...") and ends ("happily ever after") almost every story the same way. The film walks the line between being serious and being tongue-in-cheek so I think it would've been more successful if it had picked a lane? But success is overrated, as I vibed with the nonchalant yet adventurous attitude, which felt apropos of fairy tales, even if it was unconventional in the movie sphere.

I'm not sure if it would go as far as being called plot holes, but I definitely have questions about how the magic works in this land because it seems conditional; I counted the beans getting wet many more times than the plot counted them getting wet. That is, if this even is a different kingdom, as suddenly--with a jolt--we were England? I don't know if they ever considered a sequel, but there was some potential through some loose threads that didn't get wrapped up. If they had considered a continuation, it would've been fun to see even more classic fairy tales included!

Now to talk about what I liked, it's time to mention the blog party this is for!

For the blogathon: 

This review is my last contribution to Hamlette's We Love Fairy Tales Week!

My favorite part of this film is that it is an ode to storytelling and fairy tales themselves, as both our young protagonists grew up listening to and believing in fairy tales. While that is frowned upon at first by others as a foolish pastime, it is their creativity and ingenuity that was nurtured by these stories that helps them to solve problems and get out of sticky situations.

This is a combination of two fairy tales: Jack and the Beanstalk and Jack the Giant Killer.  For an adaptation, they did a good job of keeping enough of the elements so the story feels familiar and comfortable, but also adding in new plots and goals to keep the viewer wanting more. They introduced and developed characters to make it suitable for a 2 hour format, and I'll always be won over by in-depth characters.

I relate to Jack and his tendency to dream, as shown by my frequent daydreaming when I should've been writing this post that I said I would over a month ago...

Jack was sweet and I liked how he was clever and just distracted at times. The scene where Isabelle is blaming herself and Jack totally reshapes her perspective was darling. 

There's a bit of a romance, which makes my reviewing this on Valentine's Day appropriate. 

This film's biggest asset is the cast because you can tell they are all having so much fun. They take their roles seriously, but in a way that is also lighthearted? I can't really describe the attitude, but it's a fun time.

Evil Stanley Tucci played up the villain role to the max. I also really liked Eddie Marson as Crawe, the second in command for Elmont as well as Ewen Bremner as Wicke, the minion to Lord Roderick. I love a good sidekick and I thought they played their opposing archetypes with the right amounts of camp.

Warwick Davis has a cameo which was a delight but also not enough! I wanted more because it was great fun contrast for telling a story about giants.

The whole cast pulls its weight and at times I thought "why are we focusing on Jack!?" when I was equally intrigued by what was happening to the other characters and I had to remind myself that he is indeed the titular character, so it checks out.

Though, if it was up to me, this movie would be about my favorite, favorite, FAVORITE, character, Elmont. He had the exact right amount of snark, loyalty, and energy. He was brilliant and along for the ride. As a bonus, Ewan McGregor just looks like he's having the time of his life. So I can count this a Valentine's Day movie for me watching him.

Thanks to Hamlette for hosting this blog party! Check out the wrap-up post for the blog party to make sure you didn't miss out on any of the entries.

What do you guys think of this sub-genre of gritty fantasy fairy tales? Do you have a favorite "ode to storytelling"? Who are some of your favorite characters who are not the main character? Do you think there should be some nuance for fairy tale creatures? What fairy tales could you see connected to this one in a sequel?

Thank you for reading and happy Valentine's Day!

Chloe the MovieCritic

Movie Review: STAR WARS III: The Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Hello, there!

Long time, no see!

Okay, so when do I ever do two posts in a row? That is a good question. And, I never do STAR WARS reviews randomly, I always have it on a special day. That is a really good observation. So what am I doing here today?

You know how yesterday was STAR WARS day because it was "May the Fourth be with you"?


Well, today is Revenge of the Fifth.




(Get it? I really hope you all think that it is hilarious or something because I have been waiting two years to use that.)


Because of this, I will be reviewing Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith.

Confession time: This was the first STAR WARS movie that I saw part of. It wasn't my fault, I was really little and my dad was watching it and I happened to be in the same room. Now, this could have been really bad, because the part that I saw was really filled with spoilers. But, I was so little that I didn't remember it. All of what I knew about STAR WARS were that they had weird colored swords. When we finally watched the original trilogy I loved it! We watched the prequels, and then I started to get Deja Vu. I remembered that I had seen it before!

Now, to avoid a disaster, like the one I nearly had, watch them in this order:
IV: A New Hope (1977), V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980), VI: Return of the Jedi (1983), I: The Phantom Menace (1999), II: Attack of the Clones (2002), III: Revenge of the Sith (2005), VII: The Force Awakens (2015), and VIII: The Last Jedi (2017).

My guarantee: On ALL of my reviews there are NO spoilers unless I give you warning.

STAR WARS III: The Revenge of the Sith (2005):

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."
We are in the midst of war. With everyone searching for the evil General Grievous, the Jedi feel uneasy. They assign Anakin Skywalker to spy on Chancellor Palpatine, but he feels like that would be betraying his friend. Before he has had nightmares that have come true, so when he starts to have some about someone he loves the most, he panics. With Obi-Wan on the trail of General Grievous, and other Jedi spread through out the universe, commanding the Clone army, Anakin has no one to turn to. He feels like no one trusts him, so who can he trust? Will his choice change him for the better, or for the worse?
"Have you ever thought that we may be on the wrong side?"

Genre: Sci-Fi, Fantasy.

Length: approx. 140 minutes.

Costumes: 8, nothing great, but nothing bad.

Costumes by: Trisha Biggar.

Script: 9, no bad words.

'"I sense a trap."

"Next move?"

"Spring the trap."'

Crew:

Directed by: George Lucas.

Written by: George Lucas.

Starring:
Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. "Use your feelings, Anakin, something is out of place."

Natalie Portman as Padmé Amidala.

Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine. "All who gain power are afraid to lose it."
Frank Oz as the voice of Yoda.
Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu.

Anthony Daniels as C-3PO.
Kenny Baker as R2-D2.
Jimmy Smits as Bail Organa.
Matthew Wood as the voice of General Grievous.

Christopher Lee as Count Dooku.
Temuera Morrison as Commander Cody.
Joel Edgerton as Owen Lars.
Bonnie Piesse as Beru Lars.

Cinematography: 7, some of the fight scenes are a little weird, and there is some bad CGI.

Cinematography by: David Tattersall.

Music: 10!!

Music by: John Williams.

Quotes: 8, not as quotable as the other movies, but it still has some good lines.
"So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause."

NOTE/Age Range: This movie is rated PG-13 and for good reason. There is a lot of violence and scary images, like, really scary. I have know kids who are under 13 and watched it and were fine, but just be aware of that.

Storyline: 5, there is death, fighting, violence, loss of limbs, torture, killing, suggestive things, kissing, gross things. As I said above, it is PG-13.

'"Hold your fire! You're not helping here."

"I agree, bad idea."'

Good For: STAR WARS fans, people who like to know the back story.

Overall Score: 7.5.

Bonus thoughts:
Warning, this movie is really sad. Be prepared. It will make you scream, "You're breaking my heart!" This is a cautionary tale, more so than any of the others. I know that it must be hard to come up with back story, and George Lucas did a pretty good job, but he also left plot holes between this an Episode VI. A lot of plot holes.


Well, what do you think of this movie? If you love the prequels, do you still like this one even though it is sad? Tell me all of your thoughts!

Thanks for reading this post today, on "Revenge of the Fifth!"

MovieCritic

Movie Review: STAR WARS II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

Hello STAR WARS fans!

In case any of you didn't know, today is STAR WARS day! Why? Because we say:

"May the Fourth be with you!"

May 4th, just so happens to be today! Because of that, I'll be reviewing the second episode in the series. If you are not familiar with STAR WARS, you might be wondering why I am reviewing them "out of order". The answer: I am reviewing them in the way that they were made. I am such a huge fan of STAR WARS, and I cannot emphasize how important it is for you to watch them in the following order: IV: A New Hope (1977), V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980), VI: Return of the Jedi (1983), I: The Phantom Menace (1999), II: Attack of the Clones (2002), III: Revenge of the Sith (2005), VII: The Force Awakens (2015), and VIII: The Last Jedi (2017). If you don't, some really awesome things will be spoiled.

That being said, there will be no spoilers in this post because:

My guarantee: On ALL of my reviews there are NO spoilers unless I give you warning.

Now, let's get to the review!

"What took you so long?"

I've been busy.

STAR WARS II: Attack of the Clones (2002):

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away..."
Senator Amadala has received threats on her life multiple times where she barely escaped. Because a huge decision is going on the Jedi Council assign Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his padawan Anikan Skywalker to keep her safe. When things get really serious, they split up, Anakin taking Senator Amadala back to her home planet of Naboo, and Obi-Wan trying to find out who is trying to kill her. Will things turn out more serious than the Jedi could have ever imagined?
"Do you think it will really come to war?"

Genre: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Romance.

Length: approx. 142 minutes.

Costumes: 6, it went from a little over the top last time, to a little "under the top" in this one.

Costumes designed by: Trisha Biggar.

My favorite:

Script: 8, the script is pretty good, no bad words. The problem I have is that the actors all seem like they are just reading their lines, it isn't that smooth.
'"Sorry master, I forgot that you don't like flying."
"I don't mind flying, but what you're doing is suicide!"'
(Later) "Oh blast! This is why I hate flying."

Crew:

Directed by: George Lucas.

Written by: George Lucas & Jonathan Hales.

Starring:
Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi. "Why do I get the feeling that you are going to be the death of me?"

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. "You are focusing on the negative, Ani, be mindful of your thoughts."
Natalie Portman as Padme Amidala.

Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine.
Christopher Lee as Count Dooku.
Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu.
Frank Oz as the voice of Yoda.
Anthony Daniels as C-3PO.

Kenny Baker as R2-D2. "Don't worry, we have R2 with us." (This is true, because R2 is the true hero of all STAR WARS.)
Temuera Morrison as Jango Fett.

Daniel Logan as Boba Fett.
Pernilla August as Shmi Skywalker.
Joel Edgerton as Owen Lars.
Leeanna Walsman as Zam Wesell.
Ahmed Best as Delegate Jar Jar Binks.
Jimmy Smits as Bail Organa.
Oliver Ford Davies as Sio Bibble.

Cinematography: 5, this CGI is so, so bad! It seriously looks like it is animated. And it is confusing in some parts with where we are.

See what I mean?

Cinematography by: David Tattersall.

Music: 10!! Oh, I love it! I'm not a huge fan of "Across the Stars", but it is nice.

Music by: John Williams.

Quotes: 10, anything Obi-Wan says is so quotable!
'"You wanna buy some death sticks?"
"You don't want to sell me death sticks."

"I don't want to sell you death sticks."

"You want to go home and rethink your life."

"I want to go home and rethink my life."'

Storyline: 7, there is fighting, violence, loss of limbs, death, gross things, kissing, and suggestive things.
'"I guess I was wrong, there was no danger after all" *explosions*'

Good For: STAR WARS fans, people who are struggling with growing.

Age Range: This has a lot of violence, but I would say anyone over 9 would be fine.
'"Your senses aren't that well attuned, my young apprentice."

"And yours are?"

"Possibly."'

Overall Score: 7.5.

Bonus thoughts:
This is such a long movie, I  feel like it could be shorter. This movie is really "cringy". So many times I felt like banging my head on my desk. They tried to put so many different things in here and it didn't work. That being said, it does have it's good moments.

The way Hayden Christensen plays Anakin can be really creepy at times (and a little "off" because he sounds like he is just saying his lines), but he also is really relatable in parts.
(Sorry all of the pictures are sort of blurry, they haven't been loading well on my computer.)


There we go! Please tell me all of what you think of this movie!

Thanks for reading, and May the Forth be with you!

MovieCritic

Movie Review: STAR WARS I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Hello, everybody!
I am so sorry that I have been so absent. I had a lot of posts planned for last week, but I had to suddenly go out of town and am finally back.

Anyway, as this is a movie review blog, I should review at least once movie a month, eh? (My minimum is supposed to be three, but that didn't happen). As you can see from the post title, I'm doing a STAR WARS review, and since I only do those on rare occasions, today, March 31st, must be a special day! You are correct in thinking that: it is Ewan McGregor's birthday! He plays Obi-Wan Kenobi in the prequels. Also, for some reason a lot of the reviews I've done this year have included him. Huh.

I am reviewing the STAR WARS movies in the way that they are made. If you haven't seen them, I cannot stress enough how important it is to watch them this way!! If you don't, some of the best moments in movies are spoiled. If you are to watch them, do it in this order: IV: A New Hope (1977), V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980), VI: Return of the Jedi (1983), I: The Phantom Menace (1999), II: Attack of the Clones (2002), III: Revenge of the Sith (2005), VII: The Force Awakens (2015), & VIII: The Last Jedi (2017). You don't have to watch I, II, & III, because they are not the best, but it is interesting to know the back story.

Enough blabber, I'll get to it! This review today will be a bit longer because I have a lot to say.

My guarantee: On ALL of my reviews there are NO spoilers unless I give you warning.

STAR WARS I: The Phantom Menace (1999):

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away..."
With trouble on Naboo, two Jedi Knights take Queen Amidala away from there to plead the Senate to help her. Their ship being damaged, they land on Tatooine to get supplies. There Qui-Gon Jinn meets Anakin Skywalker, a nine year old slave who is great with mechanics and offers his friendship to the Jedi. Qui-Gon gets himself into a trading agreement that all depends on whether or not Anakin can win a pod race. All the while there is a mysterious figure that seems to be controlling the Senate, who are they?
"You Jedi are too reckless."

Genre: Sci-Fi, Fantasy.

Length: approx. 136 minutes.

Costumes: 8, there is nothing bad, but (and I think this is the first time that this has happened on this blog), they are a little over the top, but in the wrong places! I would love to see less CGI, but Amidala doesn't need fifteen different crazy outfits, see?

Script: 9,

'"Do you hear that?"

"Yeah."

"That is the sound of a thousand terrible things coming this way."'

Crew:

Directed by: George Lucas.
"There's always a bigger fish."

Written by: George Lucas.

Starring:
Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn.

'"I have a bad feeling about this."

"I don't feel anything."'

Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Natalie Portman as Padmé.

Jake Lloyd as Anakin Skywalker.

Ahmed Best as Jar Jar Binks.
Hugh Quarshie as Captain Panaka.
Ian McDiarmid as Senator Palpatine.
Pernilla August as Shmi Skywalker.
Anthony Daniels as (the voice of) C-3PO.
Kenny Baker as R2-D2.
Frank Oz as (the voice of) Yoda.
Oliver Ford Davies as Sio Bibble.
Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu.
Ray Park as Darth Maul.

Peter Serafinowicz as Darth Maul (voice).
Terence Stamp as Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum.
Silas Carson as Nute Gunray, the Viceroy.
Keira Knightley as Sabé.
Richard Armitage as a Naboo pilot. (He isn't credited, but he's there!).
I was reading the credits and it said: "Jabba the Hutt as Himself". What does this mean?

Cinematography: 6, ugh, there is so much CGI! And it really isn't that good. I get so tired of it. The race is fun, though.

Cinematography by: David Tattersall.

Music: 10!! Oh, I love it!!

Music by: John Williams.

Quotes: 7, "What, do you think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that?"

Storyline: 8, there is fighting, and death.
"Greed can be a powerful ally."

Age Range: A 6 year old boy that I babysit loves this movie. Seriously, he watches it all the time. So, he is fine with the violence.

Overall Score: 7.5.

Bonus thoughts:

"Are you brain dead? I'm not going in there with two Jedi." (This cracked me up!)

First off, I want to talk about Jar Jar Binks. I know that a lot of people really criticize him, and I understand that, but it is not Ahmed Best. He does a great job, the best he could have done with Jar Jar (I actually talk in his way a lot, mostly when I'm tired). I don't like Jar Jar Binks, because of the way George Lucas wrote him.
I usually like back story, but these prequels make me so sad! I just know all of what is coming. Speaking of, I hadn't seen this all the way through since the first time, which was in 2015 (and I was sick so I didn't remember a lot). When you rewatch it you cringe because you can see everything that is going to happen, it is so obvious! I know that I couldn't believe that I didn't see it the first time (but, as I said, I was sick, so I was a little foggy).
All in all, there are parts that I like, but I could just cut a lot out because it takes too long. And, I love seeing Ewan McGregor as a young Obi-Wan! He does such a good job.

Thank you so much for reading! Do you have a favorite of the prequels?

MovieCritic

Movie Review: Robots (2005)

Hello!
Today, I am part of Hamlette at Hamlette's Soliloquy, and Quiggy at Midnite Drive-In's Robots in Film Blogathon!

Today, I am going to review one of my favorite movies when I was younger, Robots (2005)! I didn't watch it a lot, but when I did my sister and I would pretend that I was the blue robot (Rodney), because blue is the best color ever, and my sister was the yellow robot (Piper, "Rhymes with viper").

"I've got to say, you aren't making a very good first impression."

Sorry! I'll stop rambling. Here it is:

My guarantee: On ALL of my reviews there are NO spoilers unless I give you warning.

Robots (2005):

"You can shine no matter what you're made of."
Rodney Copperbottom has created an invention, named Wonderbot, that he thinks could help robots (which is, another robot). He travels to Robot City to visit his childhood hero, Bigweld, to see what he thinks of it. But when he gets there he finds that Robot City is a mess: Bigweld is missing, all old parts are being discontinued, and the robots are being forced to buy upgrades, which all look the same so no one is unique. As an inventor he helps by fixing all the robots in need, and finds himself being taken in by a group of friendly, but desperate for parts, robots. He decides that he needs to find Bigweld, and the whole team sets off to find him and stop the evil Ratchet.
"This is where we show what we're made of."

Genre: Comedy, Animated.

Length: approx. 91 minutes.

Costumes: 8, Well, there aren't really costumes here. But, I definitely prefer the old looks to the upgrades!

Script: 7, there is a bad word or two, insulting names/calling people mean names.
"Good luck with your dastardly plans!"

Crew:

Directed by: Chris Wedge
Produced by: Jerry Davis, William Joyce, John C. Donkin.
Written by: David Lindsay-Abaire, Lowell Ganz, Babaloo Mandel, Ron Mita, Jim McClain, & David Lindsay-Abaire
Starring:
Ewan McGregor as Rodney Copperbottom. "I want to grow up to be like you."

Robin Williams as Fender Pinwheeler.

Being dramatic, as always.

Amanda Bynes as Piper Pinwheeler.

Mel Brooks as Bigweld.

Greg Kinnear as Phineas T. Ratchet.

Jim Broadbent as Madame Gasket.

Halle Berry as Cappy.

Jennifer Coolidge as Aunt Fanny.
Paul Giamatti as Tim
Drew Carey as Crank Casey.
Harland Williams as Lugnut.
Natasha Lyonne as Loretta Geargrinder.
Stanley Tucci as Herb Copperbottom.
Dianne Wiest as Lydia Copperbottom.

Animation: 8, I don't like a lot of digital animation, but for some reason I've always loved this. Maybe it is because of the way the good characters have really bright colors, and the villains have darker colors, and how that really sets the mood!

Music: 8, "It's a fusion of jazz and funk, I call it junk!" It is really funny, we have a video of my dad and I coming up with the exact same thing even before I saw this!

Music by: John Powell

Quotes: 9, "A dream that you don't fight for can haunt you for the rest of your life."

Notes: They have a lot of references to many other movies including: Star Wars, Singin' in the Rain, & The Wizard of Oz.

Storyline: 6, there are some suggestive things, bathroom jokes, gross things, "smoking", and crude humor. Though it has all of that, it has a really good message of "Never, never, give up."

Overall Score: 7.5!

A big thank you to Hamlette and Quiggy for hosting this! Go check out the other entries HERE.

Have you seen this? What do think? Who is your favorite bot?

Thanks for reading!

MovieCritic